Control

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” 
- Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

Control. That’s a big word. It means to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command. To hold in check; curb: “to control a horse”; to control one's emotions. The situation of being under the regulation, domination, or command of another: “The car is out of control.” Check or restraint: “Her anger is under control.”

As for me, I like to be in control. 
I like to know and understand the vision (if not cast it) and then set my goals and strive to reach them. 
I like to be in charge, to lead and motivate others. 
I like to build a team and lead the team to be successful. 
I like to delegate and then let my teammate go with it while I hold them accountable. 
I like the responsibility of leading a team or organization to success. 
I like to build a climate and culture of ownership, where everyone understands the vision and the goal, then strives to reach that goal individually and as a team. 
And quite honestly, I like to be lead that way too.

If in a group, I like to drive (or nap if I’m not). If driving with a group of other cars, I like to lead, set the pace, be in front. Not obnoxious about it. That’s just my druthers.

I was once described as a “Laid Back Type A” meaning that “I’m a nice guy and easy to work with/for. I’m laid back and relaxed, and not a whole lot ruffles my feathers. Yet, I’m still going to find a way to win. I work hard and expect others to work hard too. As a man of faith, I’m not driven by success, but I’m going to succeed.”

In my mind that’s a good definition, and even somewhat how I see Jesus as a leader (but that’s a discussion for another time.)

Last night, once again I woke up at 3:56 and laid there and wondered why. 
Laid there and wondered why I was once again awake at 3:56. 
Wondered if it meant something. 
Wondered if God was trying to tell me something. 
If God was trying to get my attention. 
If for some reason, He wanted me to remember this verse (or another 3:5-6). 

It’s funny all the things that can run through your mind at 3:56 in the morning.

Ultimately, I laid there and began to dwell on Proverbs 3:5-6 again and why God would want me to remember this passage. You see, this was one of the first verses that I memorized as a new Believer some 41 years ago now. One of those verses that somewhat made sense as I was trying to find my way and figure things out as an 18 year old freshman in college.

But why now? Why would that come to mind so strongly at this point in life?

You see, I like to be in charge. In control. And this verse is seemingly the antithesis of that philosophy. Even though I find myself in a state of flux and trying to figure things out and find my way (similar, yet different than at 18), I feel like I am far more in control of my own direction and destiny.

Maybe that’s what God was trying to remind me of. Trying to remind me that not only is He my Savior, but He is also my Lord. Thus, as Lord, He should be the one who is in control and in charge.

Proverbs 3:5-6 is a reminder to me that…
… I am to trust in the Lord with all my heart (not holding anything back) 
… and lean not on my own understanding (His ways are not my ways). 
… In all my ways acknowledge him (Seeking Him first and allowing Him to be in charge and in control), 
… and He shall direct my paths (He will guide me, show me the way, His will, His direction.)

The hard part is, relinquishing the control that I so highly value.

Yet in my heart of hearts I hear the old refrain of yesteryear, the song that was sung the day I first gave my life to Christ:

“Have thine own way, Lord. Have thine own way...”

Keep the Faith... Carpe Diem.